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The Bachlorette - The Double Standard

"What's good for the goose is good for the gander"


"The Defining Moment"
Bachelor Season 18
Andi Dorfman tells Juan Pablo off and dumps him - 
Secures her spot as next Bachlorette

Silvia Morales
Single in the Magic City
July 29, 2014
My Take:
"What's good for the goose is good for the gander"



If you have ever watched The Bachelor/Bachlorette then you know the drill...In a nutsell:

Bachelor-or-Bachlorette of the Season is provided a pool of potential romantic interests to choose from (around 25). As the weeks go by that number gets filtered down - prospects cry and fall in love really fast with the object of their mutual desires. 

The final  4 prospects get to take the Bachelor/Bachlorette to a "home town date" where they get to get a glimpse of the "real deal" - family/friends...home life away from the helicopter rides and private concerts, you know the "typical" dating stuff, 
The Final 3, this is where it gets really interesting...

The Fantasy Suite Option Always the same even though for some reason the prospects try to look surprised as they are read a card inviting them to "forgo their individual room for a night in "The Fantasy Suite" After the 'Fantasy Suite" it's down to the final 2 ...

The Finale: after 8 weeks of traveling the world and getting to know dozens of prospects...breaking a few hearts along the way, if all goes as planned by the producers of this show, there will be a fairy tale engagement followed by a televised live wedding...

Andi Dorfman was Assistant District Attorney in Fulton County, Georgia.and the most recent "Bachlorette". Many agree that she solidified being chosen as the official "Bachlorette" based on one defining moment during Season 18 of The Bachelor where Andi had been one of 25 vying for the love of Juan Pablo, a Venezuelan native who now resides in Miami-Dade. 

Andi survived those first weeks of group dates, rose ceremonies and lots of giggles and kisses. She took Juan Pablo home to "meet the parents" and eventually wound up in the "Fantasy Suite" offer as one of three finalists. It was the morning after her Fantasy Suite that Andi confronted Juan Pablo The man who had been positioned as the most sought after bachelor was unmercifully confronted by a very angry Andi. The Assistant DA came out in her as she let Juan Pablo have it for admitting to her that another one of the Finalists had also taken the Fantasy Suite offer. The attack became personal mocking Juan Pablo for how he expressed himself - audiences applauded and I was left to wonder why? So Juan Pablo admitted that another finalist also took the Fantasy Suite offer...really??? 

Overnight the same promotional machine that had featured Juan Pablo on covers and commercials turned on him. It was no surprise when Andi was chosen as the next Bachlorette, she had after all confronted Juan Pablo for admitting that the other competitor had also stayed in the Fantasy Suite...how dare he??? The women in the audience clapped vigorously in solidarity of this woman who had told the Bachelor off for merely exercising his options as stipulated on the shows rules....



Andi Dorfman
"The Bachlorette"

So after effectively telling Juan Pablo off big time during his "15 minutes of fame", Andi was chosen as "The Bachlorette". She was awarded with her very own season and 25 hopeful contenders for her heart along with a stylist, hair and make-up team and an array of over the top things to do on dates. 

We followed her along on a thrilling international adventure until there was just one prospect left, the handsome ex-pro baseball player Josh. The first words out of Andi's mouth during the final moments of the season...
"I loved you since the beginning" - Andi proclaimed and the happy couple went off to the sunset...

After the Final Rose however, there was a Final Detail...
Namely the runner-up Nick Viall
Much was made of Nick's attempts during several months to talk with Andi for some closure and her refusal to speak to him. It was only on live television once again during the "after the Final Rose" following the romantic engagement that Andi finally agreed to hear what Nick had to say to her. 

It was ironic...here was Andi now in the hot seat herself. She acknowledged receiving the letter and numerous calls from Nick,and began explaining how she had "never loved him". It was at that moment that Nick left no mystery to what had gone on in the Fantasy Suite:
"If you knew how in love with you I was, why did you make love with me?"

Hold up...wait a minute...

Is this the same Andi that became infamous for confronting and humiliating Juan Pablo? She was outraged that Juan Pablo admitted when asked by her that another finalist had also stayed in the Fantasy Suite. Better yet, is this the same Andi that professed to her Fiance that she loved him from the very beginning of the 8-week taping yet had opted to sleep with another guy many weeks into it that she was now declaring to "have never loved"?  

I wonder why the double standard?

Had any woman been in Nick's spot, heartbroken and asking why the guy made love to her if he didn't love her, the masses would have been outraged at his insensitive behavior and you can bet that would have been the end of any media circuit, endorsement deals etc. for him.

Unlike the situation that Andi created for Juan Pablo, the show didn't interview other contestants to get their take and rude comments on her behavior, they didn't interview her in an interrogatory fashion, somehow there was a collective it's "ok" let's move on attitude.

The next morning Good Morning America just couldn't get enough of the "good looking couple" and the host eluded to Nick having a "hard time getting over it"- that would not be happening had Nick been a woman and an "Andy" had slept with her only to publicly declare later that he "never loved her". - the Media would have been all over "Andy" just like they were for something much less offensive with Juan Pablo.

"What's good for the goose should be good for the gander"

And Remember...
  • The Media Will Make or Break You
  • All things are still not equal 
  • A guy's heart can also break



"The Defining Moment"
The Bachlorette-After the Final Rose 7/28/14
 "If you knew how in love with you I was, why did you make love with me?"
Heartbroken Nick Viall tells Andi Dorfman





abc publicity poster - referencing Juan Pablo
The guy who was once the darling of "The Bachelor" empire ended up being mocked by the same in the show, in interviews and social media as well as on Ads like this one. 










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